What Are 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder?

The 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects how individuals perceive themselves and relate to others. This disorder can lead to emotional instability, impulsive behavior, and intense interpersonal conflicts. Recognizing the signs early on is essential, especially for those seeking therapy and exploring telehealth options for support.

At TONYA COULLIETTE, LAC, LPC-S, CCTP, we believe education is the first step toward healing. Understanding the core traits of BPD can help individuals, families, and caregivers better navigate this challenging condition.

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

BPD is a mental health condition characterized by emotional dysregulation, a distorted self-image, and unstable relationships. It frequently arises from a mix of inherited traits, life experiences, and brain chemistry. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 1.6% of adults in the United States are affected though the real number may be higher due to underdiagnosis.

While many people may exhibit some of these traits occasionally, those with BPD experience them more intensely and persistently, affecting daily life.

The 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder

1. Fear of Abandonment People with BPD often have an extreme fear of being left alone or abandoned whether real or imagined. This fear may lead to frantic efforts to avoid separation, including clinging behaviors, threats, or emotional manipulation.

2. Unstable Interpersonal Relationships Individuals with BPD may experience rapidly shifting views of others, often swinging from idealization ("You’re perfect!") to devaluation ("You’re the worst!") in a short time. These intense, unstable relationships can be emotionally draining for everyone involved.

3. Unclear or Shifting Self-Image A fluctuating self-identity is common among those with BPD. They may feel unsure of who they are, changing their goals, values, or opinions frequently. This confusion can cause chronic feelings of emptiness or worthlessness.

4. Impulsive and Risky Behavior Engaging in risky behaviors such as reckless driving, unsafe sex, substance abuse, or binge eating is often a coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions.

5. Self-Harming Behavior Many individuals with BPD engage in self-injury (like cutting or burning) or have suicidal thoughts or behaviors. These acts are typically responses to emotional pain or perceived rejection.

6. Emotional Instability A hallmark feature of BPD is experiencing intense and rapidly shifting moods often within minutes or hours. These mood swings can make everyday life unpredictable and challenging.

7. Chronic Feelings of Emptiness People with BPD frequently describe a sense of emptiness or void inside them. This feeling can lead to impulsive behaviors or a desperate need for validation.

8. Inappropriate, Intense Anger Difficulty controlling anger is another hallmark trait. Individuals may have frequent outbursts, sarcasm, or even physical confrontations. Often, this anger is triggered by feelings of abandonment or rejection.

9. Paranoia or Dissociation Under Stress Under extreme stress, someone with BPD may become paranoid or feel detached from reality, a phenomenon known as dissociation.

   
   

In a Relationship with Someone with BPD? You’re Not Alone.

If you’ve found yourself in a relationship with someone who has BPD, you may feel confused, emotionally drained, or unsure of how to help. Relationships involving BPD can be intense and unpredictable filled with emotional highs and lows.

It's important to remember that you deserve support too. Understanding BPD’s traits can provide insight into your loved one's behavior, but it can also help you recognize your own emotional needs. You don’t have to navigate this dynamic alone. Therapy can offer coping tools, boundary-setting strategies, and a space to process your experiences, whether you’re the partner, friend, or family member.

At TONYA COULLIETTE, LAC, LPC-S, CCTP, we support individuals and couples facing these unique challenges. Through therapy both in-person and via telehealth, we help people build healthier communication patterns, emotional resilience, and clarity in their relationships.

Support Through Telehealth Therapy

My telehealth therapy offers evidence-based treatment approaches such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which are especially effective in managing BPD symptoms.

Therapy isn’t just about treating the disorder, it’s about building coping skills, understanding emotional patterns, and fostering healthier connections.

Healing with the Help of Therapy and Compassion

Understanding the traits of borderline personality disorder can be life-changing—for both those living with the condition and the people who care about them. Whether you're seeking help for yourself or for navigating a relationship impacted by BPD, know that compassionate, professional support is within reach.

If you or someone you love shows signs of BPD, don’t wait to seek help. The right guidance and therapeutic support can make all the difference on the journey to healing.